The Golf Between Me and Tiger . . .


Golf is a funny game - but whenever one of my friends says that to me, neither of us are laughing! But here are a few that do make me laugh.


Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day. I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I doubt it, that would be too much of a coincidence."

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually!"

Golfer: "This is the worse course I've ever played on".
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course sir! We left that an hour ago."

Golfer: "Well, Caddy, how do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir, but personally I prefer golf."

Golfer: "I've never played this badly before."
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, Sir."

Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, Caddy."
Caddy: "This isn't my watch, sir, it's a compass."

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think its a sin to play golf on the sabbath?"
Caddy: "The way you play, Sir, it's a crime any day of the week."

Golfer: "Golf is a funny game."
Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it looks too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we started, sir."